I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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