Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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