do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
please don't ironically join a cult
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
