well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
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Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
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Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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