The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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