So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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