THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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