I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i think i have herpe
just one?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
