Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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