If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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