Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize