Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
