yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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