what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
