I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
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