You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
