I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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