thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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