I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
