Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
