I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
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We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
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I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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