You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
