Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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