I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
