So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
