I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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