And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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