My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
