Hey man sorry I got all grabby
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
