all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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