i just google imaged poop.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
