when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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