moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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