Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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