Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
