The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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