I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
