you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
