Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
