why didn't you poke me back
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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