Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The struggles of a small town man whore
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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