they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
