Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
