What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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