Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
