am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
