Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
