I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
