it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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