Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
