ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
