Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
