Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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