some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
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when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
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Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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