I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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