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I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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