Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
