I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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