I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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